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Journey Thru Grief

I would like to share our story, how we met and how we grew together. Maybe I really do live in a "fairy tale" world.

I'm not really sure who picked up whom, me or my husband but here is our story on how we met. I really did pick up my husband at a bar. Our children never knew this story until his funeral last year. They just never asked.

I was going thru a very rough time in my life, divorced, loss of one child, and I was raising two children by myself (one was born out of wedlock). I really was tired of my life and dating. It seemed that everyone I had dated, ended up being married and I was tired of wives calling me and asking me to help them in bringing the infidelity of their husbands to light. I had some really bad coping mechanisms. I was destroying myself and really didn't want to do that. So, I shut myself up in my home. For one month, I went no where except to work and family things. NO dating!!!! Nothing to do with the male population. Some friends of mine began to worry about me so they talked me into going out one Friday night, after work. So that one September night, I finally agreed. I had the weekend off. So when I went to work that night, I took clothes to change into and made arrangements for the boys to spend the night at the babysitters. After work, I met my friends at a lounge for music and dancing. Jerry came over to our table and asked me to dance.

We spent the rest of the night, just talking, getting to know one another and dancing. He asked me for my phone number. By this time, I had already learned, they never do call. The next morning, he did call and asked me for a date that night. He wanted to come over and spend the afternoon with me, before we went out. He spent more time getting to know me alittle more and my boys. Later that afternoon, we took my boys to my parents so they could spend the night while I was out. Jerry just clicked with my family. We spent the next 5 days together, when I wasn't working or he wasn't in the training program he was attending. In those 5 days, he walked thru all the walls I had carefully built around my heart. Every time we touched, you could see sparks between us. No bells, but an energy that I've never ever imagined possible. He is the only person who could send chills thru me.

Over the next 1 1/2 months, we spent as much time together as we could. We were getting to know each other and our love just continued to blossom. Toward the end of his time in the state where I was living, he asked me to move to his home state, close to him and to marry him as soon as he could get a divorce. The beginning of November, his training program was completed and he returned to his home. I remained at my home. We were planning on my move after the first of the year. By the time he returned at Thanksgiving, I had already given my notice at work. I would be moving come January.

However, we just couldn't part. Every time he left, I felt as if a part of me was gone. I was living in a "fairy tale" world. He felt the same. So, one Saturday night, we made the decision that I was moving now. To my surprise, my parents were very supportive. We packed up his car and my car with everything we could get in them. On Sunday morning, I called work and told them that I won't be in the next morning or ever again. I was moving that day. The rest is history.

He was a positive change in my life and I would not be who I am today had we never met and experience the love we had between us. He gave me the best 18 years of life, beyond my wildest dreams. We both grew spiritually, off of our love for each other. He gave me light and hope at a time that I could only see darkness and despair. I did the same for him. We learned so much from each other. It was not until the moment we met that we began to walk as one thru this journey called life. He was my inspiration and strength and I was his. Now that he is no longer physically here, I still walk this journey in the light our love. There are no shadows as we are still walking together,
hand in hand.

I hope each and everyone of you can pull up the memories and find the strength of your individual love for each other that built your foundation for life. For I know, this is the only thing that keeps me going, the knowledge that I am still walking in the light of our love and that there are no shadows. Even though Jerry is not here with me, we became one soul many years ago and that love is what helps me to make the best out of today.